May 31, 2009
Jason the Physicist wasn’t surprised at all when Jason the Physicist walked through the door to his bar. Since that time travel incident back in college, he’d actually been expecting something like this to happen someday. What really surprised him though, was when a third Jason walked through the door. The arrival of the third Jason seemed to unnerve Jason #2 as well. For a moment they all stared at each other. The Original Jason broke the tense silence.
“Shots,” he said, “are exactly what we need right now”. He reached under the bar and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and poured three shots. The Jasons quickly downed them, and smacked the empty shot glasses down on the bar in unison. The Original Jason took a moment to examine his other selves. Jason #2 seemed just a few years older than him, but Jason #3 was considerably older, his long hair almost fully gray. He was wearing an extremely ratty Aqua Teen Hunger Force t-shirt, which The Original Jason thought he had lost, but apparently he had found at some point in the future.
“So, what kind of trouble is the world in this time?” said The Original Jason. Jason #3 looked at Jason #2 “You first.” he said, with a sly grin.
“It’s not the world, it’s your kids, Jason, something has got to be done about your kids. ” Jason #2 said. The Original Jason blinked momentarily, then started laughing. “Back to the Future”, he said, “good one!” and high fived Jason #2.
“Seriously though, in five years, those crazy scientist at CERN will accidentally create a tiny black hole, which starts orbiting the inner core of the earth. Its orbit is irregular, and takes it through the core and mantle, slowly consuming matter. If nothing is done, the black hole will grow and grow and consume the entire earth.” said Jason #2, with great gravitas.
“Wait, wait, wait,” said the Original Jason, “they did it again? I already bailed their asses out the last time they created a tiny black hole. This is very irritating.”
Jason #3 finally spoke — “That’s why I came. I knew you wouldn’t want to help again, and I have the most at risk here, since I come from seventeen years from now. I knew you wouldn’t want to help those bozos again, so I came to help. Let’s have another shot, then Jason and I will go save the world, again”.
The Original Jason poured three more shots, which were quickly downed. Jason #2 and #3 got up and headed for the door. “Hey,” said The Original Jason, “where did you find that shirt? I thought I’d lost it!”
Jason #3 turned and smiled that sly smile again “I can’t tell you, time travel is tricky enough without revealing too many secrets. It might change something important.”
“Bullshit!” The Original Jason said, “we’ve interfered with time a lot, and everything has worked out!”.
“I know, I’m just fucking with you.” said Jason #3, and turned and left the bar with Jason #2.
Jason The Physicist laughed quietly to himself and started cleaning off the bar.